[亲子娱乐]怎么对待迷上游戏的孩子

       常常在室碰到玩游戏成瘾的孩子。一个十几岁的孩子，玩游戏肯定入迷，因为游戏里有愉快体验、冒险体验、恐惧体验和甚至成就感的体验，现在的网络游戏做得引人入胜，让人身临其境，对抗、格斗、冒险、战略、竞技等游戏都让人着迷。孩子在游戏里可以幻想自己是英雄，这正符合这个年龄段的青少年的非现实狂想。游戏让孩子重温孩提时代的梦，出现一种虚幻的自我求证，证明了自己的强大和做统帅的能力。在模拟世界里面驰骋疆场，杀死敌人，做从来没有做过的事，做生活中不敢做和不敢想的事，不要说孩子，就连大人也一样会对游戏着迷。游戏虽然是大人做出来的，是一种大人的神话。但是，对大人是一杯美酒的东西，也许对一个未成年孩子就是毒药……


一切从建构兴趣开始


       想让孩子不完全沉醉在游戏里，有三个方面要考虑。首先，要重新帮孩子建构更多兴趣。比如阅读、运动、音乐、艺术，以及交往的快乐，可以跟伙伴玩篮球，打打牌，这也能增加快乐。第二，要增加孩子某方面的优越感，我们要带着孩子找到他的优越感。有的孩子在生活中一塌糊涂，谁都瞧不起他，但游戏里棒得很，他就只能从这里得到优越感。优越感是孩子成长必需的情绪，孩子需要觉得自己很棒，父母就要帮他建构自己很棒的感觉。因此，家长在生活中要找到孩子的优点，培养他的优点，让他感觉到自己在这方面比谁都强，一旦孩子形成了优越感，就不会那么强烈地需要游戏补偿情绪。第三，从建构开始就要树立规则。比如说，玩游戏可以，但要有时间概念，周末两个小时，妈妈不仅允许 你玩，而且帮你玩，跟你一块儿玩，给你买好的游戏资料，但是过了这个时间，就不能玩，不能开电脑，不能上网。在规定时间里可以和孩子讨论，跟他谈判：“儿子你究竟要上几个小时网？”他说3个小时，好，我们按他3个小时定下来监督，并要和他讲：“如果你不能实现，在某个星期破坏规则，本身应该玩3个小时却玩了5个小时，那么连续两周都不能碰电脑一次。”父母可以通过给电脑上锁来约束孩子，孩子开机时必须有父母提供的密码。

强制执行如何避免心理排斥


       强制执行时规则时，如何避免孩子在心理排斥父母呢？要管理孩子的话就需要通过和孩子谈判得到他的认同，而不是不听孩子的说法和想法去强迫他。比如说，孩子需要多长时间，能不能遵守，如果遵守这些时间怎么安排，是每天的下午还是晚上，需要几个小时。谈判好了以后，父亲和孩子达成协定，父母要对孩子说“你要这样达成你就要这样去执行”。实际上，这是锻炼孩子练习自我管理，自我管理就是从小事情开始，如果他能够管理得很好，爸爸妈妈可以允许他一周玩5个小时电话，或者上5个小时网，这样就会达成交流。如果父母说“No”，完全拒绝孩子玩游戏，他就会偷着玩，结果反而不好，倒不如跟他谈判。父母应让孩子了解到游戏世界毕竟是虚拟世界，我们可以在虚拟世界以自己为中心，或者做一些平时在生活中做不到的事情，但我们一定要弄清楚，人生活在两个世界里面，一个是内心世界，另一个是现实世界。

哈哈,有意思。

obviously, if you want to be in this round
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